i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
