Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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