Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
