There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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