There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
