Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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