Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
