She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
