operation harelip BJ is a go
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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