normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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