Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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