Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize