Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize