1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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