one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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