Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
