I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
