I'm drive I can fine osifer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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