Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love you.
Bad choice
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
