I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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