how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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