I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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