So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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