Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Text me some of your sweat
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