If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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