it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
