Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
