It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
pray to the hookup gods
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
