sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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