Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
