Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
