The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
