its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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