I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
