I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
