The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
