you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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