They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
