Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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