and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
