I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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