Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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