Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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