They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
