the new term for farting is butt boxing.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
