Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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