I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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