if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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