id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We were destined to go to rehab together
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
