I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
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I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.