Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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(404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v

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(567): View more from Ohio

you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.

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(567): you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often. http://tfl.nu/8to5

Replies (6) Good night (3253) Bad night (679)
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(301): View more from Maryland

saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.

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(301): saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark. http://tfl.nu/xqm1

Replies (8) Good night (603) Bad night (4343)
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(720): View more from Colorado

ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.

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(720): ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick. http://tfl.nu/3jab

Replies (16) Good night (1159) Bad night (3117)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college

(973): View more from New Jersey

she has no idea

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(973): after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college (973): she has no idea http://tfl.nu/zn6b

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(214): View more from Texas

That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.

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(214): That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed. http://tfl.nu/6ncx

Replies (5) Good night (4481) Bad night (889)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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(504): Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted. http://tfl.nu/mn0k

Replies (14) Good night (2126) Bad night (703)
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(407): View more from Florida

Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.

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(407): Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer. http://tfl.nu/w1nq

Replies (8) Good night (727) Bad night (1393)
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(916): View more from California

Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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(916): Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5q9j

Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (1156)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...

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(503): Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out... http://tfl.nu/v7xz

Replies (6) Good night (789) Bad night (549)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.

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(412): Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is. http://tfl.nu/yq5o

Replies (7) Good night (1196) Bad night (499)
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(801): View more from Utah

You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.

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(801): You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age. http://tfl.nu/6o7l

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(408): View more from California

Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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(408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs

Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (384)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...

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(508): We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on... http://tfl.nu/xnt1

Replies (4) Good night (572) Bad night (212)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do

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(919): It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do http://tfl.nu/kn63

Replies (4) Good night (231) Bad night (466)

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