Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
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This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice