Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?