operation have a gay friend backfired
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library