the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
