I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
