okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
