But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
