our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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