I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My vagina just clenched in fear
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
