I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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