it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
