I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
