so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My balls are so social today.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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