someone threw a dead crab at me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
