YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
