sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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