i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
