the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
