dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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