At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
